Tonight, I listened to the IHOP web stream for the first time in a long time. One of my former interns was playing on stage, now a worship leader at IHOPKC. Her voice was beautiful, and I could sense her earnestness, floating over the invisible sound waves.
And though tomorrow morning I know that I will wake up and shoulder my books (I’ve got calculus to do tonight), answer my editorial emails and reply to the invitation to go drink on Thursday and laugh at the fact that I even wrote this…. this is how I feel now.
I feel that if I had one wish (a Pingxi lantern wish, perhaps)—it wouldn’t be to travel or see new things or study in a foreign country or write for a successful website or any of the things I’m currently doing or have planned to do.
If I had a wish, it would be this: I wish I could’ve been a better Christian girl. I wish I could be a good Christian. I wish I hadn’t done the things I’ve done, things that I won’t ever be able to take back.
That’s technically three wishes, but who’s counting?